July 5th, 2025
Four days ago at the coffee shop, after handling some of my business, I had a wild and intense urge to feast on donuts. I immediately typed in “donut” on Google images, to feed my desire, and I gazed upon images and images of wonderful, colorful, round, chocolate, cake, glazed donuts. It was driving me wild, and I wanted to get donuts right then and there.
I was with my sister at the coffee shop. I was speaking out loud, vocalizing my internal struggle with wanting to immediately go and buy a large amount of donuts from Kroger, but not wanting to spend money nor gorge on such an unhealthy food, as I knew I would do. Yet about two months ago, I had this wild urge to eat an entire red velvet cake, an urge I have had many times but never given in to, and I thought, that night would be the night that I finally gave in, and feasted on red velvet cake. I had earned it. However, when I went to the store, I found that all of the cakes, the red velvet included, were encased in large plastic containers, and I had recently just started my anti-plastic campaign, and I wavered, but I knew that I could not commit a double sin, of gluttony and environmental crime, and so I didn’t get the red velvet cake.
But right next to the cakes, in the bakery corner, was the rack of Krispy Kreme donuts, and they caught my eye. Perhaps I could settle for a donut, or twelve. Checking out the stand, I thought that there were many satisfying donuts for my purchase, and then I looked at the boxes, and saw that they were all entirely made of paper. That was acceptable. So I bought a whole dozen, jelly, creme, glazed, cake, chocolate, mamma mia, and I took the whole dozen home and feasted. I personally ate six that night, five in a row, and then one more later at night. My roommates had two and three respectively. One was leftover for me, the next morning – proof that last night’s donut devouring was not just a dream.
I reflected on this prior donut gorging, as I debated whether or not I should immediately go to Kroger and do it all again, because it was actually a wonderful thing. It made me feel alive and brought me incredible joy, and my roommates too. And so I was thinking, at the coffee shop now having this wild urge again, that perhaps this could be a satisfactory donut feasting as well.
I tried to justify it as that I could make a blog post about it, and that’s exactly why I am making this post now. I said that I could write a poem, being inspired by the book of fancy and fun poetry, and my sister, in her wisdom and genius, said that I should write the poem right there on the spot, as I was at the time in the midst of the urge and desire. So I did, and this is what came out of me, born out of pure, unbridled donut lusting.
Ode To Donuts
Donut
Schmonut
Gronut
Wonut
I love a diddly dang donut
Munch, smunch, yummy yum yum
Chocolate, cream, glazed, crumb
Crumbly bumbly yummy donuts
Pink brown white yellow and green
Give me a donut right now
Please
My tummy!
My tongue!
Howls for donuts!!!
I ended up not getting the donuts for several more days. My intense desire had abated rapidly. We did end up going to Kroger but I didn’t want the Kroger donuts. I had to investigate some new donuts, and so we ended up going to East Park Donuts a few days later, and having a classier donut.
One donut plus the tip cost me $5.50, whereas a dozen Kroger donuts cost $16.50, but hey. It was a nice experience, and my sister was gracious enough to buy me the strawberry donut, which was actually amazing. It had a perfect texture, being one of the sour cream cake donuts, and then the strawberry glaze actually tasted like strawberries, and not the fake strawberry flavor (you know what I’m talking about). I was afraid to get it because I was worried about the fake strawberry flavor, but my sister knew better. She knew it had that real strawberry flavor.
There was a real difference between the quality of the donuts, the biggest thing being in the range of flavors present in the East Park Donuts, and in the quality of the donut batter. The cake part of the donut. There was a significant improvement in deliciousness and quality of the bread part of the donut. When it comes to quality, East Park Donuts wins. Good for a thoughtful donut enjoyment experience, with a friend, over coffee. Kroger’s Krispy Kreme has them beat on quantity. Good for an insane, hedonistic binge at midnight, with your two hungry roommates.
We have the Donut Distillery right down the street, apparently. Donuts and whiskey? We’ll have to write another poem for that.
Have you ever had a donut binge? Any other kind of treat binge or gorging session? Let me know!!!!
HAKUMUSU 